Fustrations

As you know from the title, you will know how i hv been feeling over the past weeks. The feeling of being down is nothing nice or interesting or be proud to actually record in my blog but i needed a way to let all these emotions out and maybe serve as a way of self talk. What could cause my fustrations? Majority might guess or predict that it must be related to my work right? That because i have been complaining non-stop to everyone and everywhere.

How i hated myself for behaving like a spolit brat! How i hated myself for not being to appreciate all the wonders in life and embrace what i have! These negativism is causing all the fustrations. I don't like myself for being a complaint queen..i don't like myself to always be so negative...

I know i am much better as compared to many others though i am nt super rich but at least i have a steady income and a whole lots of benefits from my current job...and being so free and bored to be always on MSN chatting with my friends during working time..What could i ask for more right? The never contented Krissy.

How i wish i can be like everyone to stay happy and not wake up morning dragging myself out of bed and head to work. Especially when i know how i feel is because i want to feel that way.. very contradicting right? I know it is wrong to be like that yet i don't do anything to change those negativism but to always complaint and complaint and complaint... Not that i didn't try but it just keep coming back to me. Maybe i didn't try hard enough or i am still stuck in the deep tunnel that i dig or bury myself in. sigh.

So here i am pouring all these feelings abt myself here and hopefully it will create a different light to my life. Art of embracing or self acceptance - how can i achieve? Will i ever achieve? The answer remain unknown.